Saturday, February 2, 2008

Storm's meowing stirred me up from my sleep

Storm's meowing stirred me up from my sleep. The first thought that came to mind was that she's hungry. Immediately, I got out of bed to check on her. The childlike pleading pulled my heartstring.
'Yes, baby. What's wrong?' I asked, only to receive another pleading meow as a reply. Walking towards the kitchen, the three felines hopped like little children, trailing every footstep I made. I was careful. I had to make sure that I did not disrupt the quiet serenity of Dawn. As I got into the kitchen, I noticed three empty food trays and immediately filled it up; not much though, just three-quarter of a scoop. The felines looked happy. I'm glad the meowing stopped.
I decided to head back to bed only to find myself curling up like a ball for a good ten minutes. I gave up trying to fall back to sleep. Fifteen minutes after, I found myself armed with a cup of hot cocoa which John bought from the organic food-market at Vivocity. I marvelled silently at the refreshing after-effect of the first sip of hot cocoa - a perfect partnership to have at dawn. I smiled in my heart.
"There's just a certain chemistry between Cocoa and Samuie that make them a perfect pair," I thought. I became a happy man. I found myself transported into a state of virtual enlightenment, a dreamland that spells happiness and joy; isolation and togetherness. I felt within me, a certain stirring of gratitude that somewhat defined me as person, a man with hopes, aspirations and needs that far supercede what money can buy, yet at the same time an urge that I should not stop doing what I'm doing in life - work, seeking meaning, searching for a purpose in all the things I needed to do and earning a living that would enable me to buy the little luxuries - a couch to relish in my inner thoughts and a fancy little mug that cupped every little drop of cocoa..
I felt somewhat a Contrarian being; someone who loathed at the need to embrace the dreadful vicious circle of the daily grind and the bitter grapevine that circulate around the neighbourhood while at the same time able to sift through these loathing and be appreciative of the fact that these necessary evils in life were vehicles to realise an inner awareness. Naturally, the quietness of dawn that was sometimes interrupted by the engines wheezing by along the minor road across my flat brought to mind people I loved dearly. On other days, these wheezing would be noise, a pollutant that served to further impair my hearing as I moved on in numbers, yet on that very earthly morning, the same wheezing became music to my ears; a breathe of fresh air that signalled living and existence; a 'noise' that painted in my mind a picture of a survivor serving the daily grind for bread and butter . In short - of hope. Through the wheezing, I imagined a man leaving behind his family for the day to drive a pick-up truck loaded with fresh vegetables to be delivered to the wet-market; or a man in the ritualistic commute for other souls like him. I got reminded of the auntie with the headscarf who I saw days ago probably heading in the same route. I felt in my heart, a certain humility and gratitude at being able to partake in this so-called vicious circle as an observer, the outsider who thought he probably knew what was happening in others' life yet in truth, would never be able to completely emphatise with them because he was simply viewing at their existence through a window - his window.
The stillness of that dawn sustained itself almost endlessly. As I got out of my couch to get a second helping of the hot cocoa, I saw Storm perched on the uppermost level of the multi-level kitty scratch-post by the living room window, observing every minute detail of the stillness and noise that I penned in my heart.

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